Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Strength


Yes! Finally a card I want to see! I really like this card, I have a jumbo rider deck I use for public things, anywhere I am showing cards to a lot of people. But I use them too, like pictures, like sigils, like little sticky notes to myself. I prop them up on my desk and stare off into them instead of out the window during those little mental breaks we like to take so often.

Many cards seem to be like a stage, a line divides the foreground from the background, they always look like a backdrop to me. I always take into consideration when this is the case, and when it is not. In this case they are not on stage, but a natural setting, truly in the field, in the wild. Nature. Although they are established, on an earthy foundation, stability.

The sky dominates the scene. The speculative aura of consciousness. Water is like the heart, emotions. So Air is like the mind, thoughts. My mind can be a whirlwind. Why does the wind blow? From where does it come? And to where does it go?

We all like to put our best foot forward, I know I do. We all have our not so nice sides. I know I do. I think of the lion as the "beasts of my masculinity". I was never an aggressive person, I didn't like to fight, but don't ever back me into a corner. Because it will always be in there, waiting. The Army found it, fed it, trained it, and set it loose. The military trains you how to do many things, like fight and kill. But it doesn't un-train you, to not react, it doesn't teach you to turn it off.

Be all you can be.

The path leading away from Iraq was one of non-violence. I am the nicest person you will ever meet. But for the first time in my life, not hurting someone was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have an aggressive side, now. But she helps me. Shes there to calm me with her her soothing words, her gentle touch and her loving way. It takes far greater strength to be kind, gentle, patient, understanding and forgiving. I spend as much time with her as I can every day, learning how to be a better kind of strong.

An Army of one.

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