Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Infamous Mr. Anonymous

It all started so slowly, so unnoticeable, insignificant. The way a pebble is the humble beginnings of a snowball, that starts an avalanche.

My Coven mates began encouraging me to write out an explained version of our Book of shadows, stereo instructions for the uninitiated. I admit that it did shine my ego to be told by a large group to write it all out, in case I was lost.

Then conversations with friendly publishers at Pantheacon, asking for a book no one else can or will write. Another cup to intoxicate the ego.

Several months ago I was given "blue prints". I built the Gates to specifications and began opening them. Within the first one I learned the necessity of a Virtuous Purpose. Its funny how you can experience something yet not be conscious of it, and visa versa. Then I opened the second door and got lost...

I went thought several phases, while working on my book. The first was what should be included and what should be withheld. Didn't want to give away any of the good stuff.

Then I started questioning my writings. Not the grammar, sentence structure or syntax, but content. Maybe they wont want to publish a book that tells them to stop buying magic books, maybe I should leave that out, and that, and that. I replace it with the good stuff.

Yeah that will sell. <-------- (red flag)

One of my friends said getting published with certain houses was, selling out. And I thought well that's easy to say when you've never been published, I bet he'd change him tune if they made him an offer. But now I am seeing what he meant. Getting published isn't selling out, but changing your message, and twisting it into something more marketable, is.

But its ok, I had a virtuous purpose so its different, its ok. Right? I wanted to write a certain book, but they said they wouldn't publish it because they wouldn't make enough money with it, the market for it is not big enough. So I thought I would write what they wanted and use the money to self-publish what I wanted.

Yeah that will sell. <-------- (red flag)

Then an amazing thing, well several synchronized amazing things happened. I read a book that changed my life, again. It was written by a guy like me, who wrote it for the same reasons as me and for the same people as me. He showed me everything I needed to know, thanks Bo.

You get lost when you are not were you think your supposed to be. I was lost because I thought I was within the second gate when I never made it out of the first one. I had to experience the loss of a virtuous purpose in order the experience and appreciate the gain of one.

I had to loose my balance, in order to gain a better sense of balance. Wisdom is the proper application of knowledge. "Proper" only comes from experience of falling on your ass a few times.

I realized I got sucked in, I wanted to "be" someone. Apparently it can only be achieved through getting published. This promotes one to a higher station, or at least ones ego. And it has been my experience that such a station is usually beyond the authors merits.

May my virtuous purpose assist in the dissolution of my ego.

So I will write two books. One which will be self published, and free for the precious few who ask for it. The second, I will write but never finish, I will leave half blank, for my kids, Grand kids, and so on. I will live and die a husband, a father and a Wiccan.


Mr Nobody.


Lavanah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lavanah said...

You don't need to "be" someone, Joe. You "Are."
And I would love a copy of your self published book, when it is ready.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Please add my name to the list. I'll keep an eye on your blog to see what other wonders you come up with before it is published.

k. sequoia said...

"May my virtuous purpose assist in the dissolution of my ego."

Aaach! I nearly fell down the rabbit hole yet again this day, reading that. Wouldn't be a bad thing, only I have to little girls to watch over whilst I'm left Hanged on the Tree, watching my Ego get thrashed. ;>

Add me to the list for your book, and may I quote you on my blog? I'm feeling a post coming on. You're so inspiring, from one writer to another!

K. Sequoia

k. sequoia said...

And another thing ;> : I really relate to the whole red flag issue. I've been working on a book for a few years now, and find myself stuck between that rock and hard spot: "will this sell?" "WHO CARES?!"
I want to be a storyteller first and foremost, not a bookseller.

K. Sequoia