Monday, February 22, 2010

Ninety-Nine Red Balloons

It reminds me of ninety-nine red balloons, the way our thoughts can cloud the infinite sky of possibilities.
Especially when we don't know the outcome of something relevant which is bending, and usually seems to be quite critical.

In Morals & Dogma, Albert Pike wrote that force, unregulated or ill regulated, is not only wasted in the void, like that of gunpowder burned in the open air, and steam unconfined by science.

Air is commonly associated with the speculative. Thoughts, ideas, imagination and communication. I have become overwhelmed by an unstoppable force of "What ifs." My thoughts irrationally imagining and rehearsing every imaginable possible outcome, and that somewhat fantastic sequence of events that could follow. I find myself daydreaming about the fantasies of the best possible outcomes, and completely stressing myself out with the worst.

Thoughts give birth to actions, therefor the quality of those thoughts bare to the quality of the actions and so on with the sequence of events. So I have blown that ill regulated force into balloons to contain them, each as they come, and in this regard I have discovered an inexhaustible supply of hot air. (If you listen close you can hear those who know me laughing)

Dan Millman has always been one of my lifelong favorite authors. He wrote about the concepts of the infinite here and now, about staying in the moment and no matter where you go, there you are. Within my tradition we teach a technique called the Lustravi, it's a lifelong ritual with no beginning or end, it is performed from "time to time", to keep us centered within the infinite here and now.

It keeps me sane, it keeps my eye on the ball and my head in the game, which has become so indescribably difficult, considering the relevant possibilities, which are currently pending to make history. Imbolc symbolizes the pregnancy, before the birth of a new life in the spring of Ostara. Make no mistake, there is a big shift coming, and the labor pains are never easy, but the new life is worth it.

Until then, the Lustravi is my BB Gun and I will keep plugging away. Pop... 98, pop... 97, pop... 96...pop*

PS* I just "found" my Gmail box, and realized I have been receiving mail at that address, from readers of this Blog for well over a year. So to all of you who thought I was a stuck up ass, you may be right, but at least now you know that I will be writing you back soon.

Blessed Be.


Connie said...

I don't know Lustravi, at all, but fr some reason, what you wrote, strikes a chord. I craft for sanity. Yarn, string, thread. I've attended sheep fairs to pick my own fleece in order to spin my own wool. This is life-long for me. I've never made a sweater. My husband teases me that, in nearly 18 years together, NO sweater. It's not that I can't, I just haven't. I think it might be my naturally found ritual with no beginning or end. I love it for the process, not the product. I had stored my spinning wheel away when the kids were very little, and then we started moving... it's still in storage. I would love to have my wheel again... something to keep both hands busy so I cannot fiddle with things or doodle, and my eyes busy, so I cannot escape to TV. My strings tie me to a stillness that I do not mind being in. It anchors me in a kind of meditation that's hard to achieve (for me) otherwise. Oh, finished things do come into being often enough - I made hubby a scarf and hat this winter in time for a trip to a cold place - but really, nothing works better than the process of crafting to ground my soul when it needs calming. Good luck with your ballons.

k. sequoia said...

Ohhhh, yeah. I'm also "...completely stressing myself out with the worst." The best isn't fully in sight right now as I have to run that gauntlet of 'worst' first.

I keep trying to talk myself down, with little pithy thoughts like "Gee, what would a tell a client who came to me worried they were about to lose everything they've worked their whole life to have, for family and self?" I know the answer to this, and I know what I need to do come to center.

But it is harder than ever to hold that space, not knowing what is coming around the corner save for all those possibilities, each on harsher than the last.

Much of it is because I realize that I can live with the outcome, whatever it may be, but I don't care for the drama that I must withstand to get there.

Anyway. As always, love your blog.

Kim @ redhandferi

Rufus Opus said...

Are you going to post the Lustravi ritual? I'm itching to see if it's like what I do with the Contemplation of the Source.