Last Tuesday during my morning Facebook and coffee ritual I came across this post by Z. Budapest regarding her Goddess Chant. I attempted to withhold my vitriol that day, accept to say its wrong on so many levels, particularly:
"You put men into the song, like God,a hex will be activated."
While I agree to disagree with Z. on a great many things, I cannot agree to disagree with this. I will skip the long, drawn-out and boring yet intelligent argument I have prepared and just get to the good part. I decided to put Z's hex to the test. My Father was scheduled for back surgery Wednesday morning in up north in Santa Rosa. So I left town Tuesday afternoon and I sang the Chant the whole way to Santa Rosa. For those who don't know, I live in Central California (Visalia) and its about a five hour drive, through the bay area and into the Northern Wine Country.
I figured I would put her Hex to the test. Moreover, I would be driving through the Bay Area during rush hour traffic, giving her Hex the optimal probability advantage of time, place, route and population density. So I started singing my version of the song (We All Come From The Lord and Lady...), slow, choppy and awkward at first. It felt odd and I realized I was feeling very self-conscious. This was a very unusual for me because I have over fifteen years experience singing traditional ceremonial songs in public/group rituals.
But a few miles down the road I started to get a bit of a groove going, not long after that old cadence started to come out and I rolled down all the widows because I was starting to get loud. One of the secrets to ceremonial songs is that Singing is an emotional release. I had forgotten that, but by the time I had reached Oakland the energy had erupted from a very deep place and I began to cry. For those who don't know, I had locked horns with family members and we hadn't spoken since Yule. This was the Very First Time this had happen between us, it was very difficult experience for me and all four months worth of anger, hurt, pain and frustration came pouring out. Wave after wave, gush after gush of tears, I sang my way through it, and traffic.
As I drove west across the bridge into San Rafael the Sun was seated upon the ridge, draped by the cloud-cover it painted generously from a luminous pallet. My skin tingled, the hairs on my arm stood up as the energy became ecstatic and I was overwhelmed by the joyful spirit of communion. Tears of happiness streaming down my face, I sang on. There was a significant shift and I arrived in Santa Rosa late that evening a different person, a healed, person. I slept well.
Bright and early the next morning I beat my Dad to the Hospital and was there waiting for him when he arrived, escorted by family. Not a word was spoken but the family feud ended then and there. Over the last few days we have taken time to heal and bond, my Dad wasn't the only one who was injured, his trip to the hospital healed us all, he comes home tomorrow.
I can't let it go, the feeling, the powerful love, the Chant.
I looked for "Wiccan Chant Music" on my iPhone and found Shawna Carol's Goddess Chant CD, and downloaded it on iTunes. Maybe its the moment, the shift or the emotion but it was perfect timing. I love this CD, its literally like Wiccan Gospel Music. You can roll your eyes all you want, but I'm a believer. I always was, but I was in a bad way. We all experience a momentary lapse of reason, some of us recover and reconcile, and some of us don't or won't. I don't know what happened to Z. but I wish her Love and Healing, I pray that the Goddess holds her heart closely and that someday soon she is able to feel what I am feeling.
Thank you Lord & Lady for Z. Budapest and her Chant.